Tom Watkins Coaching

Leadership Coaching | Self-Management | Capacity Development

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Drawing the line at criticism

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Responding to criticism with composure and curiosity rather than reacting reflexively is a skill greatly eased by learning to recognise our feelings and the mindsets that activate them, in real time. When we can do that, we are better able to listen confidently to critical comments, hold clear limits or prevent more when we’ve heard enough. Identifying if and when any line should be drawn, calls for situational awareness, mindfulness and emotional agility.  Announcing and holding the … [Read more...]

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Choose how you respond to pressure, disruption and uncertainty | Tom Watkins

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Struggling to accept what we are sometimes faced with is a normal part of being alive, like a tax on being human works-in-progress. Our battles with reality are usually won, in the end, by reality. But have you noticed that for very many people, reality increasingly involves relentless pressure and frenzy? Three inescapable societal trends are behind this. Being overwhelmed by them is optional. I was with a friend for one of our regular discussions we have, over coffee or during a 30-minute … [Read more...]

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IN and ON the business, misunderstood

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Organisational progress, success and resilience are more likely when work in the business (doing the work) is sufficiently balanced with work on the business (improving how we work). But in reality, that balance is rare. This discussion describes common signs of that imbalance, its common causes, and what might be addressed to resolve them. Work in the business focuses on the Primary Task - the matters necessary for the organisation to stay in business. Work on the … [Read more...]

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The best and simplest goal: get better

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Can most of us, with enough persistent effort, get pretty good at anything? Probably. Effort, as psychologist Angela Duckworth has shown, counts twice:  talent x effort = skill, and skill x effort = achievement.  And though both talent and our willingness to exert persistent effort may be at least partially genetic, only a minority of our personality is inherited. High performers  don’t rely on either nature or nurture, but on a combination of the two — and they are really good at nurturing … [Read more...]

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Sharpen-up priority management

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The foundation of effective priority management is the ability to clarify purpose and hold our focus on it. Both steps can be challenging. The first, because purpose is easily confused with current activities, dealing with agenda or completing to-do lists. The second, because we get caught up in our attitudinal compulsions (to be constantly busy or needing to be liked by others, for example), and effortless distraction is almost always a nanosecond away. There's no perfect approach to getting … [Read more...]

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First, step off the treadmill

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If we paused regularly and often enough to reflect on how we approach what we do, we'd soon improve our efforts and their results. That's a self-management no-brainer. But how and when can we get off the workplace treadmill for this?  For many people, that's a serious dilemma. Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful. [Margaret J. Wheatley] When I first ask coaching clients to add periodic self-reflection … [Read more...]

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Like a clock during a thunderstorm

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We are shaped by what gains our attention and occupies our thoughts. To limit unhelpful fight, flight or freeze reactions to adversity, we must develop some voluntary mind-control over our attention. We should know how to put it where we want it, whenever we need to. Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm. [Robert Louis Stevenson] Acquiring this ability should never become a matter of … [Read more...]

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Enhance personal resilience

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Experiencing adversity . . ?  Then you're suffering, right? Not necessarily, of course. At some level we all understand that emotional resilience is situational; we sometimes have it and sometimes lose it. We know that adversity can draw out and develop personal strengths.  Resilience is not a rare quality limited to confident optimists with few negative attitudes. We may also accept that personal resilience is our own responsibility. Almost everyone has a degree of mental robustness and … [Read more...]

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That’s the problem, right there

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His opening gambit was, What do you do?   Not my ideal subject for small-talk during a short flight, but Oh well . . .  I spoke of coaching leaders to lift their game through a systematic focus on developing their own and others’ capacity for effectiveness . . . how this saves an extraordinary degree of otherwise wasted energy and . . .   As his eyes began glazing over, I invited him to talk about his work. Although my companion  spoke enthusiastically of recent developments in his (very … [Read more...]

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The coaching relationship

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A constructive workplace coaching relationship (one that serves to improve, is practical and productive) depends on skill for which the coach is responsible and the presence of order, impartiality, trust, safety, and mutual respect for which the parties have equal responsibility. Rather than focus solely on the content of coaching sessions, coach and client should have a shared understanding of their approach to  these matters. Responsibilities of the coach: While coaching may be arranged … [Read more...]