Tom Watkins Coaching

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Gossip, Trust & Mistrust

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Do you gossip? No, never. I don't. But I’ll tell you who does … One of the principal characteristics of healthy interpersonal relationships is trust: our confidence in others’ good will, consistency, respectfulness, honesty, reliability, credibility, transparency, loyalty and other forms of behaving ethically and benevolently. Do you trust them?  is a question that reveals much about the quality of any relationship. [1] Collaboration is easier where trust exists and more challenging … [Read more...]

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Collaboration, Cooperation & Competition

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A very expensive misuse of resources When the Senior Management Team meeting considered an important operational failure, Joel proposed a remedy. Matti introduced a different approach to which Joel responded, “That’ll never work” and began explaining why. Matti interrupted to explain where his reasoning was flawed. For 30-40 minutes they heatedly faulted one another’s perspectives and defended their own. Other members argued for their preference or said nothing and avoided eye contact. … [Read more...]

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Spoiler alert: how collaboration is derailed

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Behaviours that inhibit or derail collaborative conversations are usually easier to recognise in other people's practices than in our own. Some of those spoilers are regarded as mildly annoying but unavoidable aspects of interpersonal communication processes, about which nothing much can be done. Others are more pronounced but difficult to categorise objectively and figure out constructive responses. All are worth scrutiny, modification and constructive responses in the interests of … [Read more...]

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How do you rate your capacity for real collaboration?

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Cooperation is often considered collaboration . . . But efforts applied to the former can seriously inhibit the latter . . . All approaches to real collaboration benefit from the parties' competence at navigating conversational complexity and differences . . . Typically, people over-estimate their ability for this, trusting that the necessary skills will somehow become available if and when required, even though they have insufficiently practised and mastered them . . . Most seem unaware of … [Read more...]