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Gossip, Trust & Mistrust

April 6, 2025 By Tom Watkins

Do you gossip? No, never. I don't. But I’ll tell you who does … One of the principal characteristics of healthy interpersonal relationships is trust: our confidence in others’ good will, consistency, respectfulness, honesty, reliability, credibility, transparency, loyalty and other forms of behaving ethically and benevolently. Do you trust them?  is a question that reveals much about the quality of any relationship. [1] Collaboration is easier where trust exists and more challenging … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Attitude management, Dialogue skills, Group-work, Leadership, Organisation culture, Resource Library, Trust Tagged With: Attitude management, Conflict resolution, Habits of mind, Interpersonal communication

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Collaboration, Cooperation & Competition

March 17, 2025 By Tom Watkins

A very expensive misuse of resources When the Senior Management Team meeting considered an important operational failure, Joel proposed a remedy. Matti introduced a different approach to which Joel responded, “That’ll never work” and began explaining why. Matti interrupted to explain where his reasoning was flawed. For 30-40 minutes they heatedly faulted one another’s perspectives and defended their own. Other members argued for their preference or said nothing and avoided eye contact. … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Capacity Development, Dialogue skills, Group-work, Habits of mind, Leadership, Meetings, Resource Library, Self-Management Tagged With: Conflict resolution, Emotional intelligence, Habits of mind

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Spoiler alert: how collaboration is derailed

December 3, 2024 By Tom Watkins

Behaviours that inhibit or derail collaborative conversations are usually easier to recognise in other people's practices than in our own. Some of those spoilers are regarded as mildly annoying but unavoidable aspects of interpersonal communication processes, about which nothing much can be done. Others are more pronounced but difficult to categorise objectively and figure out constructive responses. All are worth scrutiny, modification and constructive responses in the interests of … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Attitude management, Capacity Development, Dialogue skills, Group-work, Habits of mind, Leadership, Meetings, Resource Library Tagged With: Attitude management, Conflict resolution, Emotional intelligence, Habits of mind, Interpersonal communication, Self-Management

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How do you rate your capacity for real collaboration?

November 27, 2024 By Tom Watkins

Cooperation is often considered collaboration . . . But efforts applied to the former can seriously inhibit the latter . . . All approaches to real collaboration benefit from the parties' competence at navigating conversational complexity and differences . . . Typically, people over-estimate their ability for this, trusting that the necessary skills will somehow become available if and when required, even though they have insufficiently practised and mastered them . . . Most seem unaware of … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Attitude management, Capacity Development, Comfort with uncertainty, Coping with disruption, Dialogue skills, Group-work, Habits of mind, Leadership, Organisation culture, Resource Library, Stress reduction Tagged With: Emotional intelligence

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Good Listening, a Virtue of Character

March 10, 2019 By Tom Watkins

Just before I posted this I found that The Book of Life at The School of Life website had been viewed over 26 million times but its How to be a Good Listener chapter had just 51,655 views.  No surprise there. The soft stuff is always more challenging than the hard stuff. Despite the ever-present need, "improving my listening practices" rarely appears among people’s common interests or priorities. It is impossible to overemphasize the immense need humans have to be really listened to, to … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Leadership, Resource Library, Self-Management

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Choose how you respond to pressure, disruption and uncertainty | Tom Watkins

April 28, 2017 By Tom Watkins

Struggling to accept what we are sometimes faced with is a normal part of being alive, like a tax on being human works-in-progress. Our battles with reality are usually won, in the end, by reality. But have you noticed that for very many people, reality increasingly involves relentless pressure and frenzy? Three inescapable societal trends are behind this. Being overwhelmed by them is optional. I was with a friend for one of our regular discussions we have, over coffee or during a 30-minute … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Attitude management, Capacity Development, Comfort with uncertainty, Coping with disruption, Habits of mind, Leadership, Mindfulness, Organisation culture, Priority management, Resource Library, Self-Management, Stress reduction, Time management Tagged With: Attitude management, Capacity Development, Change Initiatives, Emotional intelligence, Habits of mind, Organisational Culture, Personal resilience, Self-Management, Stress management

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Leadership – what’s new?

December 1, 2016 By Tom Watkins

Given the extent of research into and writing about the practice of workplace leadership, it's remarkable that so many organisations, groups and teams perform with no better than average efficiency and effectiveness. Theorists disagree about causes and remedies but unite on the need to continue their research and publishing, adding to the plethora of conflicting approaches, mismatching "key principles" and "essential steps". Alluring promises of breakthroughs abound but there's much more … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Leadership, Resource Library Tagged With: Change Initiatives, Coaching practices, leadership, Organisational Culture, Testing Assumptions

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IN and ON the business, misunderstood

November 15, 2016 By Tom Watkins

Organisational progress, success and resilience are more likely when work in the business (doing the work) is sufficiently balanced with work on the business (improving how we work). But in reality, that balance is rare. This discussion describes common signs of that imbalance, its common causes, and what might be addressed to resolve them. Work in the business focuses on the Primary Task - the matters necessary for the organisation to stay in business. Work on the … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Capacity Development, Leadership, Organisation culture, Resource Library Tagged With: Capacity Development, Change Initiatives, Interpersonal communication, Meetings, Organisational Culture, Performance Development

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Sharpen-up priority management

October 5, 2016 By Tom Watkins

The foundation of effective priority management is the ability to clarify purpose and hold our focus on it. Both steps can be challenging. The first, because purpose is easily confused with current activities, dealing with agenda or completing to-do lists. The second, because we get caught up in our attitudinal compulsions (to be constantly busy or needing to be liked by others, for example), and effortless distraction is almost always a nanosecond away. There's no perfect approach to getting … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Capacity Development, Leadership, Mindfulness, Resource Library, Self-Management Tagged With: energy management, estalishing purpose, Self-Management, Stress management

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The very common denominator

August 18, 2016 By Tom Watkins

When the Operations Manager, my mentoring client Julia, met two of her team to address a complex performance incident, I was present in an observer role. She'd estimated the meeting would take 15 to 20 minutes. Ben and Allen (no actual names used here) responded well enough to Julia's genuine curiosity, her clarifying questions and occasional paraphrasing to test and demonstrate her understanding. 10 out of 10 for that:  she'd been working with me to improve those practices and was doing … [Read more...]

Filed Under: Meetings, Resource Library, Self-Management Tagged With: Conflict resolution, Emotional intelligence, Empathy, Interpersonal communication, listening, Meetings, Self-Management

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Read latest Articles

  • Key Skill Least Taught and Mastered
  • Gossip, Trust & Mistrust
  • Collaboration, Cooperation & Competition
  • Spoiler alert: how collaboration is derailed
  • How do you rate your capacity for real collaboration?

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