Tom Watkins Coaching

Leadership Coaching | Self-Management | Capacity Development

Incorporating EncourageMentors and Thriving Workplace.

Join 1,319 other subscribers
You are here: Home / Archives for Tom Watkins

Articles by Tom Watkins

Browse the Full Archive for Tom Watkins Coaching.

post

Facing Reality

By

Searching for easy simplicity, freedom from problems and constant stability in our lives is as futile as buying and keeping goldfish on the basis that they won't die.  Dying randomly and inexplicably is what goldfish do best. Life is a series of problems to which there are no easy answers.  If we want everything resolved and stable, we'll increasingly become victims of change as the world changes rapidly around us. Despite repeated awakenings from the fantasy that life should be otherwise, it’s … [Read more...]

post

I Don’t Trust You

By

We usually avoid saying this directly to those we mistrust.  It's more common to report our unease and reasons for it to other parties, make vague or indirect complaints, or practice avoidance. By then the relationship has effectively failed, though the mistrusted person may be unaware of this.  It can be difficult, if not  impossible, to repair the damage. Given the centrality of trust to cooperation and collaboration, what can be done and how can we behave in order to develop and maintain … [Read more...]

post

Enhance personal resilience

By

Experiencing adversity . . ?  Then you're suffering, right? Not necessarily, of course. At some level we all understand that emotional resilience is situational; we sometimes have it and sometimes lose it. We know that adversity can draw out and develop personal strengths.  Resilience is not a rare quality limited to confident optimists with few negative attitudes. We may also accept that personal resilience is our own responsibility. Almost everyone has a degree of mental robustness and … [Read more...]

post

That’s the problem, right there

By

His opening gambit was, What do you do?   Not my ideal subject for small-talk during a short flight, but Oh well . . .  I spoke of coaching leaders to lift their game through a systematic focus on developing their own and others’ capacity for effectiveness . . . how this saves an extraordinary degree of otherwise wasted energy and . . .   As his eyes began glazing over, I invited him to talk about his work. Although my companion  spoke enthusiastically of recent developments in his (very … [Read more...]

post

Managing and reflecting on your leadership

By

Is leadership simply a higher form of management? Should leaders command, direct, explain, plead, role-model, inspire, cajole, threaten, bargain, encourage, coach, mentor, manipulate, or expect people to just get on with what they're paid to do without being "bossed"? Do your leadership KPIs measure leadership quality or organisational performance?   Are they the same or separate issues?  Can leadership effectiveness be reasonably argued if your part of the organisation succeeds and … [Read more...]

post

Start with why

By

When asked about meetings they attend,  people often roll their eyes or sigh heavily and say, "Don’t ask!" Clearly, something’s wrong. While "ineptly-facilitated" is one of the usual suspects and an obvious contributor to the problem, something fundamental and frequently overlooked usually lies at its heart.  It’s a major flaw which seriously reinforces the tendency of meetings to waste time, squander potential and irritate the participants.  One researcher points bluntly to it when he describes … [Read more...]

post

How shall we argue?

By

Ideally, at the start of any significant relationship we'd agree on answers to this question before the first inevitable important disagreement. Attempting that agreement while actually arguing is a complex process, like trying to fix an aircraft while flying it. However, in its absence these nine strategies can help limit the risk of damage when we're up to our armpits in challenging interpersonal conflict. They are for most people easier to grasp than apply, because acquiring and entrenching … [Read more...]

post

Assumptions for coaches and coaching

By

Our coaching practices reflect whatever assumptions we hold about the process, the relationship, our role, the client's,  and the wider workplace context.  Which are useful assumptions are for you to determine.  Use this extract from my Coaching Practices guidebook to shed light on and clarify yours. It's important  that you remain aware of them and moderate those that need change. These are the basic beliefs and assumptions I've distilled and refined from my 25 years as professional … [Read more...]

post

Our Interpersonal Inheritance

By

Conversations are the barometers of organisational health but personal objectivity about the quality of our contributions to them can be like asking a fish to describe water. Mostly they're a constant, unnoticed system in which we conduct interpersonal relationships. And it's never just us involved: we inherited many of our practices uncritically from our families-of-origin as our parents inherited similarly from theirs. Because they may be based on redundant or unhealthy patterns, the topic's … [Read more...]

post

The coaching relationship

By

A constructive workplace coaching relationship (one that serves to improve, is practical and productive) depends on skill for which the coach is responsible and the presence of order, impartiality, trust, safety, and mutual respect for which the parties have equal responsibility. Rather than focus solely on the content of coaching sessions, coach and client should have a shared understanding of their approach to  these matters. Responsibilities of the coach: While coaching may be arranged … [Read more...]